|
This is my weekend off, and I had really been looking forward to it. I woke up in a good mood this morning. As I was eating breakfast this morning, I turned on the news. I happened to catch a segment on various things going on in the area this weekend. It was all about haunted houses, pumpkin patches, Halloween parties, and other things like festivals and celebrations, etc. I was thinking about how fun it would be to go to one of those things. Or anything for that matter.
But I don't want to go by myself. That's when I started feeling sad.
To make a long story short, my husband is out of the country at this time. He's been gone for 4 months and it's unknown how much longer he's going to be gone (like I said, long story). I have two friends that I'm close to, but one lives about three hours away and the other one just had a baby this week, so she's understandably busy with her baby and family stuff. I have other friends, but I'm not that close to them. It's not the kind of friendship, where one person randomly calls the other on a Saturday morning and says, "hey, let's hang out." (Does that make sense?)
Anyway, my mood went downhill pretty quickly after watching that segment on the news. I already feel stressed out about other issues in my life, so it doesn't take much to bring my mood down lately. So I've felt down most of the day.
I texted my friend that just had the baby to see how her and her son are doing, but I didn't want to bother her because I know she's busy and I tried calling my friend that lives three hours away, but she was driving somewhere and understandably doesn't like to talk on the phone and drive at the same time. I would like to talk to somebody but I'm running into the same issues as mentioned above, plus I feel like I always have to be the "strong one" for everybody else. I have a hard time talking about my feelings. I always have, which is probably why I'm anxious/depressed in the first place.
I don't know, I guess the point of this post was just to vent since I don't have anyone around me to talk to. I feel lonely a lot and there's times where it feels like the loneliness is so overwhelming, where it would make me so happy to hear a friendly voice, get a hug from someone who cares, to do something fun with a friend. I try not to rely on others to make me happy, but it's nice to be around someone who cares, you know?
Thanks for reading/listening.
|