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I know it's long, sorry... You don't have to read it, I know it's a lot of rambling! Thanks for all the replies!!!
Thank you for all of the replies! I'm not on any meds nannypat (other than the Mirena, but I will start taking 2 anxiety/migraine meds starting tomorrow) but I do know what you mean about the meds causing symptoms like this. I had similar experience with Lithium. But it didn't start the hallucinations and things, it just enhanced the heck out of them. I felt like I had lost my mind when I was on Lithium. But the symptoms are still there 2 years after my last dose of it and were here long before.
AmandaLouise thank you for your reply. I have considered looking for another neurologist but they are so expensive and I don't have the money. Right now though I do have this one doc (the one who said it was anxiety personality disorder) and he mentioned getting a ct scan done on me and I wouldn't have to pay for it. Maybe if I go back to him and tell him all of these symptoms, perhaps he will order a ct scan. My appointment is January 25th, it will be a long wait but I waited just as long for the appointment that just passed after the surgery. Thanks also for helping understand the anxiety personality disorder, it makes more sense. Those just don't sound like me... But IDK he is a doctor so he could know more than me. I have small traits for a lot of them but a lot of the common symptoms for those I don't have. Like... Avoidant Personality, they have social phobias... (this all according to what I've been reading) and they are highly sensative to negative feedback... I am negative to feedback but my social anxiety only really effects a certain part of my life. I only have fear when it comes to court houses, large buildings, being around government/military officials, being around authority or church systems mostly. And I'm a christian so that doesn't help much. Mostly places that judge you and places of authority. But I don't mind going to a highly crowded mall, I may get frustrated though. I don't mind being at concerts, being in the middle of the city on New Years eve with thousands of people around... Those situations I don't mind at all (as long as I'm not alone) and I don't really think those people judge me or will dislike me... IDK maybe you can be picky about what you avoid and still have it. If you go by the name alone I avoid a LOT of things, just not everything.
Dependent personality-I am actually a very independant person. I hate to rely on anyone at all. I try my hardest to do things on my own. But I do have a hard time making decisions and always make the other person decide... But I don't think that would be enough to qualify for this one...
Paranoid Personality... That could fit me, it's close with the paranoia of others, thinking they are out to get you. But I don't think they have all of these motives behind it. Only bad luck or I did something wrong or they think I'm someone else. i don't think others are out to get me because they have all of these plans. You just never know. But I'm not distant or or unhappy in relationships or anything of the sort. I'm a very loving and caring person, too much sometimes.
"Schizoid Personality: People with a schizoid personality are introverted, withdrawn, and solitary. They are emotionally cold and socially distant. They are most often absorbed with their own thoughts and feelings and are fearful of closeness and intimacy with others. They talk little, are given to daydreaming, and prefer theoretical speculation to practical action. Fantasizing is a common coping (defense) mechanism."
That's what I read and again with this one, it could fit but I don't have a fear of getting close to people and I'm not "cold" I actually enjoy and look for connections. Schizotypal sounds a little more on point, but still not there because I do really care about people.
Histrionic personality is nothing like me. I'd rather NOT be the center of attention. I'd rather just be in a corner in my head.Narcissistic is another nothing like me. Antisocial as well.
Borderline actually according to one site sounds somewhat spot on. But it doesn't cover all of the symptoms. But I don't feel like I'm someone who is borderline... I mean it could explain why every time the smallest thing, like my boyfriend not kissing me first thing in the morning, goest down... My thoughts start racing about all of the reasons he didn't kiss me. All of the things he doesn't like about me. I even start to panic and have the extremely strong urge to bolt out the door and never look back because I think he's going to end it or cheat. But he's such a good guy and the relationship is actually pretty good considering my meltdowns lol. They tried to say I was borderline throughout the years but I didn't think so. I knew one girl at the hospital that was borderline and she seemed to be going through a lot more than me. Either that or it just seemed that way. I didn't think that was anything like me but reading the description, it sounds fairly accurate.
The obsessive compulsive personality somewhat accurate as well but I am not that "neat". I'm an extreme perfectionist but when I can't get it right, I just give up. I have certain things that I have to have an exact way and do an exact way. Even the way I eat has to be a certain way or I feel uneasy. I just assume that my control issues are due to the fact that I was in horrible situations as a child and am overcontrolling to subconsciously make up for lack of control I had as a child. I do really well in school when I try, because I become obsessed, absorbed and every though revolves around what obsesses me. That's why i will over post on PC sometimes, I become addicted to this or that and over do it. But when I can't do something for one reason or the other I just give up because I hate to fail. I'd rather say I quit than I couldn't do it. That's just me. But cleanliness and organizational skills, unless that's what I'm obsessing over at the time, I am terrible at it. A slob and SO unorganized. So who knows...
Passive agressive is nothing like me...
Depressive personality is nothing like me...
Cyclothymic personality sounds pretty similar to me, but couldn't that be bipolar as well? I figured I am bipolar, sounds more believable to me...
A lot of these have similar symptoms so perhaps instead of DDNOS it would be APDNOS? lol Just thinking out loud really in this post, no one has to read it lol.
Nicoleb 2- thank you for your reply. It very well could be neurological just as easily as mental issues. I believe a lot of symptoms of neurological issues follow the same line as mental health issues. And some of my symptoms don't seem to fit in the psychological field either and more medical than psych so a CT scan is probably the best bet! Hopefully I will be able to get one soon!
Thank you again for all of the replies! I REALLY appreciate all the feedback and sorry for yet another long post.
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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