Change is always scary but also always going to happen, it cannot be stopped. Not knowing what the future will be like and knowing that you don't know is probably driving you back to familiar habits but you have to realize that the familiar habits won't keep change at bay, just make it harder for you in the future.

I had a "breakdown" when I was 20 and realized I'd have to graduate college in a year and go out into the world all by myself. Nothing I did changed that, it just made it much harder for myself as I went out into the world all by myself! I retreated into myself more and that's much worse than anything that did/could happen to me living out in the world.