I'll just cut out the fluff and introductions and get straight to it. I am a failure. That is me in a nutshell. I have always been one. Ever since I can remember, I've never been able to do anything that others can, such as simply talk to people. I've never had any friends, definitely no girlfriends, and I can't hold down a job to save my life. In fact, I was hired for a new job just this Monday but I quit on Tuesday. Why? I could give you all the excuses in the world, but the fact of the matter is that I knew I couldn't do the job and gave up. It wasn't even a hard job. In fact, it was so simple a monkey could do it, but I know I would have failed.

I'm 23 years old now, and my mother pays my rent while I sit around all day and play video games, just to kill time. I've been to therapy before, but I even failed at that too. I just stopped going, not even for any real reason. I just lost my motivation to even try. That really sums up my position in life right now. I have no motivation to even try anymore because I've always failed and I know I always will. In spite of all that, I don't want to give up. I have no idea why, I just don't. The future can't hold anything good for me, but I still want to see it. Maybe I'm just a masochist, I don't know, but I want to keep going.

The question is, what is the point? Why should I keep going when there is nothing ahead but more failure and self-loathing? I've tried just about everything you could think of to help myself, but I've failed at all of them. Why should I keep going through this sadness? I keep searching for a reason, but I just can't find one.