madisgram I'm so glad you overcame and rose above a very difficult situation and that the laws were there to assist you-- as they should have from the very beginning... but... better late than never, I guess.

I just thought about bringing up this-- I couldn't see anything in the article about it....
this is not meant towards anyone in particular-- just a viewpoint...

anyway-- all this makes very much sense when a person is abused as an adult-- 18+ years old.(or even 16+years old) After all the brain wires are set as far as who someone is, what to expect from others, what love is and what caring is-- those things are, for the most part, set in the brain by the average 16-18 year old, who didn't come from inebriating abuse....
but....

what about a small child that comes from life changing abuse?
where the abuse often carves paths into the brain as to who they are, how they act, what they expect from others, and such. There are few choices for a 3, 5 or 7 year old when experiencing abuse. The abuse writes on their memories and then so much comes up unaware much later- as adults.

Sure we must be held responsbile for how we act as adults... but... it gets complicated ... to expect someone to get out of that "mode" when that's all they knew or experienced for the first 16 years of their life. (it sets tracks in the brain that must be totally re-set with other ways of thinking. Like tearing up all the roads in Boston and re-setting them in other places!- this building must be torn down, that building isn't needed this building is in the way.. *phew*... it's daunting, whereas, a person abused only while as an adult has the roads there- just some of them have been blocked off- they need to be cleared but they already exist)

It's such an IMMENSE struggle of learning, failing, perserverance, more learning and more failing.... it can be done... but with much much hard work and persistance.
I believe it's a whole other ball game when considering how a person was treated from 0- to at least 14 years old. Adult abuse in relationships is way different than a child being abused... one needs to consider the background of the adult-- at least that's what I think.

peace to all
fins