Yep, and I think one of two things (or a combination of both) is going on. Even though we say we want it with all of our hearts, when things go well, it can be so outside our realm of expertise that the "wellness" itsellf causes a profound amount of anxiety.

I mean how do happy people act? I certainly didn't know. It's sad, but misery, in a way, can be very comfortable and "homey".

The second is, Now that things are good, when they go bad again (and they will right?!) then that anticipation can be horrible.

Overall, I think this is about seeking a level at which you are, whether you admit it or not, comfortable. It's hard to raise that level of comfort into the better range.

However, if you are cutting every day then I would definitely call your therapist and let them know.

Something needs to change and pretty quickly.