Continuation on my triggering letter to abuser. He kept the rifle in the closet. But you were worst of all. My first memory i must have been 4. You raped me at 13. You called me gross because there was blood everywhere . It hurt so badly. You tried to kill us all with a
butcher knife . Sometimes i wish you had killed me. I hate you for what you' ve done to your kids and my dad. I love you, because i remember glimmers of your true self when i was young. You taught me not to kill spiders, to appreciate nature, how to bake cookies, that skin color doesnt matter. Now your sickness has gobbled you up just like cancer devoured my dad. I lost you long ago. Youll never apologize. You are incapable of love. You dont even know reality . I dont know if the drs diagnosed paranoid schizophrenia correctly. I just