Hey,

I have done this at times in the past and sometimes still feel an urge to revert back to self destructive behaviour but try not to anymore. I think it's often related to a fear of loosing the support you get for being 'unwell' from your T or others. It can be really hard to even admit this as it feels like attention seeking, which none of us like to be labelled as doing. Sometimes it can feel nice to know someone cares enough to worry about us and we want rescued and it can be hard to give that up and become more independent. so you try to sort of prove your still not well by acting out and saying - look what I did, im still not well, i still need you.

Does that sound possible for you?