((BNLsMOM)) I'd imagine that not understanding where the thoughts are coming from would make it even scarier. Maybe you and your t can do some exploration and learn a bit more about what is going on.

In the meantime, take care of yourself. Consider ridding your house of anything you could use in an impulsive attempt. Maybe even have your husband dole out your meds to you and hide the bottles somewhere only he knows.

We're all glad that most of you does not want to die.

Another thing to consider, as these thoughts seem intrusive: do you have any other obsessive thoughts? Do you have any rituals that you feel you must perform, such as tapping an object a specific number of times, or touching something, or doing some action? People always think of germaphobic obsessions and cleaning/straightening compulsions when they think of OCD, but the disorder can manifest itself in a variety of different ways. Maybe it's an issue for you.