Just a caution, from what you are discribing, I am sure you have PTSD or possibly even complex PTSD which they are now adding the complex because it can go all the way back to childhood abuse. I don't know who told you that you are bipolar, but PTSD can mimick the same effects as bipolar. There can be times of clarity and other times of extreme anxiety and yet even other times of feeling tired and depressed.

Try to overcome those moments of anxiety by thinking just about the moment and trying not to push so hard at getting all the answers all at once, or even stressing about the answers. It truely is a process where you have to gently get slow treatment, make your mind up to give yourself time, and again be very kind and understanding to yourself.
Make sure you don't fall into blaming yourself, so very important.

I come to PC and read and post and try to slow myself down and I do try to not allow myself to get too self absorbed. PTSD is troubling and can lead one to become self absorbed and even catastrophize when it is better to be more understanding and make efforts to really take time, give to yourself in ways that you truely deserve.

Open Eyes