I came downstairs to post a little so that I would not be upstairs in bed spinning my thoughts. I am extremely afraid of making phone calls.

I am willing to go to the ER after Halloween is over if I need to. I missed it last year because I was in the hospital, and I really don't want to miss it this year. I want to spend that time with my kids. (and steal some peanut butter cups)

Does a crisis line trace your call and send police after you?

I am going back to bed to see if I can sleep. I can still salvage the night and get a few hours.