Just got back on here, watched some tv.
Wish there were some great words of wisdom here. Just wanted to let you know been following your post on this thread & am really worried about you.

Isn't the claim to fame of the crisis lines is confidentiality.

Call them! Tell them your thoughts & you can't control them.
I wouldn't worry about the police. It's their job to know how to talk to someone worried about their thoughts taking over even if you really don't want to harm yourself.

My heart goes out to you, this gets so old, not much you can enjoy.
But please make the call tonight, hubby won't know. Go outside if you have to & call them multiple times if you need to!

Please call now!!!