Okay so I'm a new (well, re-joining) member. I haven't even had my first posts/comments moderated yet, but I figured I'd jump in with both feet. Last time I was on here, I didn't put much into it and I plan to be more active this time.

I'm doing online dating, and I seem to be having abysmal luck. It's rare that I make the transition from communication to a date, even more rare if that date turns into a second date or further. Truly, I've only had one go past a first date. It ended two days after the third date. That was a week ago.

Everything was going really well. We hit it off on the first date and I felt our personalities complimented each other well. Even our lives were in compliment, working in the same field on the same shift. He seemed interested, initiating most of the communication, making plans on all of the days we had off together. He was attentive. He even made statements hinting toward future plans. No, not marriage...I mean, I said something about wanting to go sledding (even though we're in our 30's) and he said we'd definitely go when it snowed. He was great over phone/text/etc but seemed awkward and, frankly, disinterested in person. He had trouble looking me in the eye. He talked more about himself than ask questions about me. While he did ask to kiss me (and it was wonderful), he rarely complimented me. I'm not making this all about me and I don't need a guy to blow smoke but, I mean, I was doing all these things with him, sending all these signals his direction. To be fair, he didn't have a ton of relationship experience and was a shy guy. I'm an outgoing girl with a strong personality. But things started going off the rails--he out of the blue told me things wouldn't work out when I was attempting to change plans for our second date. We both work third shift (I also go to school) and I was simply too beat to go out and run around. He thought I was blowing him off. We still had a date (and worked it out) it just wasn't the thing we'd planned. Two days later, he definitively ended it... for the same reason. I was apparently blowing him off, though I don't know how. I was crushed. I don't know how I could have shown more interest without clinging to him or being a stalker. He said I was too hard to read, he didn't know what he wanted, I had over-the-top reactions, our communication styles were too drastically different, and also kept saying "I don't know" a lot which kinda tells me that, besides shutting down, he didn't have a clear picture of his needs and wants before dating me.

Yeah...I was crushed. I told him he wasn't being fair--we barely had a chance to get to know each other.

I don't know what it is that makes guys seem to run from me. I know it's not all them; I know it's mostly me. I've not had much relationship experience either. Men don't approach me in bars, when I used to go to church they didn't approach me in my college group. They just....don't. I've been told (by male and female friends) that this is baffling to them--I'm intelligent, fun, reasonably attractive...

I don't know. Does anyone else have this issue? I don't base my happiness on a man but I don't want to be alone my whole life.