After months of inpatient, outpatient, and intensive outpatient therapy-after weekly therapy-I am still obsessed. I see myself as fat. When I eat more than a certain amount, I cannot function. When I am not exercising, I feel lazy. Honestly, I know why people end it-give up. The only reason that I haven't is because I have many small children. I have had three suicide attempts, which resulted in hospitalizations. i just want peace.