Id like to take the time to thank you all for reading my post and replying.
I will reply to every ones posting in the order they were received.

Perna,
I totally understand what you are saying. And I don’t mean to imply that I don’t get out of my isolation. Its just that with my history, along with my anxiety, it makes it very difficult to meet/ be around new people. I tense up, and my muscles ache from the pain. At times it gets to the point where I get so overwhelmed I cant think straight or concentrate on anything. Once in a great while I might feel like I'm gonna puke. I often have to leave what I'm doing just to get away to collect myself. I have my moments however where I’m very outgoing and social. Yet, they are very few and far between.
　
Stongerman,
I agree with you, many people are broken and flawed that hide it very well. I, myself bartended for six years, had to drink at least two pots of coffee a night just to get through one shift. It was hard dealing with emotions and feelings where I wanted to just tell everyone to leave me alone, thinking to myself I don’t want to talk to you, or I tense up cause I'm having a anxiety attack. Yet, turn around and smile and make like nothing is wrong. Ive actually had people tell me (that know me and know what I go through) its hard to tell that anything is wrong cause you hide it so well. I tell them, it often takes every fiber of my being just to smile and play nice. The deck is not stacked in my, or anyone else’s favor with trying to find a intimate relationship, or friendship that have these issues. Or, any other issue for that matter. I agree its not impossible, as I still have hope, I haven't allowed myself to give up entirely, at least not yet anyways. And believe me, Ive been around the block a time or two. Have many reasons why I should quit, or give up. Yet, that is not what I want in my life, to be alone i mean. As far as what you said, “I don't think mentally healthy people honestly desire to deal with such difficult problems” I have not only watched, and listened to, Ive also read many forums about mentally healthy people talking down, make fun of, or bash individuals that are, or have a mental issues. Its truly sad. It is also sad when your marriage, or relationship falls apart cause the man happens to loose his job. As far as a marriage goes, what ever happened to For Richer, Or For Poorer, Through Sickness, and In Health? It makes me sad that more people out there only want the good times, and will disregard the bad/ poorer times.

PurpleFlyingMonkeys,
I am thoroughly pleased that you and your bf can laugh about your issues and make it work in the end. That is truly a awesome thing. I can only imagine how hard it is to handle someone who cuts you off like that tho, where is seems as if they were never even listening in the first place. That would be extremely hard for me to deal with. Its wonderful that you can not only see what it is, but also accept his issues and handle them the way you do. You sound like a very caring and understanding person. Your bf is a lucky man. Love can conquer all!!!!!!! I'm sure there are women out there that like clingy men. Its like Strongerman said though, I have to put myself out there to meet em. Its just hard to do when your anxiety and what not gets the best of you. I try not to say anymore that I'm Bipolar, or that I have OCD, I tend to refer to it all as I'm a complicated person. Although the people I tell this to may not have anything to do with me afterwords, which is hard in itself to deal with, yet, at least I can feel good about myself that I was honest and upfront about it all. I also have the face of someone whom looks like they have had a happy and care free life. Yet, there are so many scars and old wounds that are hard to see on the inside. About weeks ago I had a coworker say to me, Aww, it cant be so hard being you. Which infuriated me and I totally gave them the cold shoulder for the next 2months. And they didn’t even get it, why I was upset at them i mean. I ended up telling em one day, you don’t know me, you don’t know what Ive been through. Further more, you have absolutely no idea what I go through on a daily basis. In turn they apologized and admitted they had no idea. More and more people say I don’t look my age and think I'm just some stupid 20something kid who doesn’t know anything but foolishness. I just shrugs my shoulders and think to myself, shows you what you know. I totally feel ya there with coming to terms with the diagnoses. Its took a long time for me to even acknowledge I had any problems at all. Often blaming others for my actions and such. Now days I feel like the outcast/misfit with a pretty boy face who should stay alone on the account I know without a doubt that its extremely hard on the other individual involved with me. I feel selfish wanting someone in my life, yet, it gets so lonely at times. I know I'm a good person, I just have certain issues that are less desired and hard for others to deal with. I have been in many, many relationships in the past (although that doesn’t sound good on my part) I can honestly admit that my eyes are opened and I know more now than I once did in the past.

Hankster,
Glad your doing fine now. Good/ Happy times are always a good thing. J Yes, I did say I had full cart. I was standing in a Isle one day with a over the brim cart and had a full blown anxiety attack hit me, and had to turn around and walk away. Almost was sprinting out the doors to get to my SUV. I felt like I was gonna puke. Another time I was in the store with my youngest son and we were trying to find our cousin and again, an anxiety attack come on, all I could think about was running out the doors and getting to my truck as fast as possible. Which i ended up doing, just didnt run, I walked very fast. Ive been told by counselors and such that educating ones self on their issues will help in the recovery process. So, I agree with what you said there whole heartedly. As far as to your gf dictating her ex’s vitamins. Every one is different in this world and with that, likes, desires, and such are also different. I remember that show, I liked it as well. Loved the whole bit on duck tape being able to fix everything, lol… to funny. And Mr Green is so true with that statement with men being helpful, if not being attractive. Lol

Secretum,
There is indeed more to life than isolation and pain. This is true. I stopped seeking psychiatry since I was 28. Actually I did go back once when I was 33, or was it 34. Anyhow, It is sad the way things are now days. In my last session the Dr. said (in a nut shell) he didn’t believe I was as bad as I said I was. Which upset me so. Aside from trying to get me on meds, he asked if I would be willing to go to group. Which I felt was his way of shoeing me out his door. Although I have thought about it, I have not been back since.
My ex in Cali had some issues, however, she had that holier than thou attitude, since she was book smart, no one could tell her anything different, so I havent found it any easier to be with people with disorders. Ive found that it actually makes it harder to deal with. She was also addicted to her pain meds cause of her cancer and lupus, which made things even more interesting as she would often not remember the next day the extent of things I would do for her to help her in her times of need. I have to agree though, going through my own pains and sufferings has given me a clearer perspective on things. However, In the past I have been known to withdraw inside myself, which my ex’s have found hard to deal with. I like to think of myself as a empathetic person however, so lacking in emotional depth is not an issue for me. One thing Ive also found hard for others to handle, or deal with is when someone is mad, upset, or not pleased with me, I don’t know what to do, or say, so I usually get very quiet, and wont say anything when told to be more expressive. I do not lack in issues however. There are some I have not mentioned in my original posting, as I felt they didn’t have much to do with my question.
I will say I have spent most of my life without any type of professional help, trying to figure this all out on my own. Which has not been the easiest in any regards. Yet, a few things I have found that help me out greatly with my bipolar is to limit, if not eliminate altogether the consumption of caffeine, most (if not all) sugary products, and alcohol. Also taking a good multi vitamin, fish oil (or, flax seed oil) tablets helped me greatly. I also take a good ginseng tablet for other health benefits. Just a little helpful info you can try, or not try. Totally up to you. Just thought I would pass the info along. If you do decide to try em, I hope they work for you as much as they have helped me.
My ex in Cali has said to me a few times since our brake up that the hardest thing she couldn’t deal with was that it seemed like I was accepting defeat. And I guess I owe her credit where credit is dew. Since we broke up I had continued my research on ways to help myself and have found the things mentioned above. I, personally don’t think I was accepting defeat when we were together though, I just had a lot of other things to deal with at the time and my time and energy was being applied else where.
I also couldn’t agree with you more with you saying, “P.S. Make sure that you are looking for people to be "just" friends with, in addition to a girlfriend. Friendships often tend to be deeper than romantic relationships, on average definitely tend to last longer, and can also be very useful in alleviating loneliness.” I have been working on creating a book. Its kind of a half n half book. The first part is full of poetry that I have written thought-out the years. And the second half is full of different topic of interest I wrote about. One of those topics has something very similar to what you said there. It goes on to say, “I have learned that it takes time to find that right person. Not only that, it also takes being friends above all else. Two totally different, unique individuals should learn more about each other, and be friends first.” So two thumbs up there.

Missbelle,
Thank you for your kind words, and your very welcome for the honesty. I'm sure things will get better as time goes on. I'm doing my very best trying to take care of myself. I feel as if I'm doing a good job thus far.
　
　
Open Eyes,
Define normal? One mans normal could be considered another mans crazy. Take different cultures, for instance, do all sorts of things way different than in the US, or in the UK for that matter. Back in the 1600’s when some of our fellow human were looked upon as savages. So, when it all comes down to it, what is normal?
Like you, I agree with every one else. I am learning how to deal with my issues, and since I had started down this path I have learned a great deal about my issues. And I hear ya there, I am my own worst enemy.