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Anger turned inward leads to depression. Feelings are meant to be expressed not stored. How are you hurting your family, if you don't mind me asking? Failure and weakness.... maybe your standards are too high? I don't even use the word failure. I see things as road blocks that I have to figure out how to get around.
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........
I'm an ISFJ
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