Oh my goodness, Charlie. Yes, yes, and yes... ditto to what you just said.

I am 32 and was just *finally* diagnosed in September after being misdx'd for years as depressive and ADD. My new Tdoc (who I started with today, and is such a better fit than the last one) just smiled and said "The incidence of Adult ADD being misapplied to people who are actually BP is ridiculously high."

It's true that it definitely makes you go back and reevaluate YEARS of your life. And the further I get from the manic episode and hypomania of this past summer (possibly actually a mixed episode thrown in there for fun) the more I am able to examine my current moods and figure out where on the spectrum I am falling from day to day.

Hang in there. I spent a lot of my depressive episodes thinking I was just lazy and thoughtless... which I am decidedly not! But part of the depression is that kind of thinking -- thinking you are "faking" because if you WANTED to you could snap out of it. In my case, at least, that was a false construct and part of the black and white thinking this illness is known for!