I dunno. I feel like I'm a good listener and supportive, but it seems that people want me to listen to them and make them feel good, and change the subject or get bored or overwhelmed when it comes to me. I end up feeling burned out or used and distance myself. Not sure what I'm doing wrong.

I haven't had any friends since I've moved here, been here six years. I can't seem to get beyond the acquaintance level. Part of it may be that I don't know how to go from meeting people and hanging out in a group situation to going for coffee/happy hour or something. People seem to want to avoid me. I feel like I'm that weird kid in school that everyone reassures is ok, but has some really annoying attribute that they want to avoid and he's completely unaware that he's doing.

I am well aware that if you don't resolve your **** in childhood, that you're ****ed as an adult. There was one guy I met who had some really bad social skills that rubbed a lot of people the wrong way. He ended up being ostracized from the group. I remember talking to someone about it, basically we both saw that the guy needed a lot of help, but at this point in our lives realized that we didn't have the energy or time to do it. If we were in our 20s or college, it probably would have happened, I think. And I had no idea who or where to send him to get help. So the guy is off somewhere struggling on, no doubt, if this is the reaction he keeps getting.

I often tend to be sympathetic towards people who are struggling in some way, always have, as I've often felt like an outcast, but the problem is, I just get drained by them. I can't seem to make friends with people who are "normal", maybe for the same reason.

I often feel like I'm drowning, overwhelmed by my emotions, I've had one supportive voice from a friend on facebook, that got me through some things, but I feel like I have this big empty hole.

My aunt described it once as I'm the one standing out in the cold watching the warm happy family in the beautiful house. There's something that just separates me from the warmth and connection that I long for. I don't know what it is.

It's hard to watch others talk of the supportive relationships that they have, or their interactions with friends and family and feel the full force of what I'm missing, because there's something just wrong with me. Being on facebook is hard for that reason, because I see the fullness of others lives, I often disappear for periods of time.

I've been frustrated, this year in particular has been rough, because I would really rather be dead than continue this existence. But I've managed to trap myself, because I am either too afraid, or I have a sliver of hope. But 20+ years with of a sliver of hope is ridiculous, it's not worth the pain. I would like to actually fix this problem.