(((clouds and sun)))

Your dreams seem pretty telling of what you wish for, imo. Thoughts and emotions that apparently haunt you ~ day by day.

Is there any way of re-starting a relationship with your parents? Perhaps starting out very slowly, with a note sent saying that you are thinking about them & hope that they are doing okay. Try not to go into own feelings and experiences with them until a better rapport is built up again and you can see that the relationship is strong. Meaning: They won't disown you again due to your rough times in life.

Best wishes sent your way