not sure if this should go some where else like not sure if cuz bpd traits or what. But my boyfriend got a new computer he set passwords & didn't set them as the old computer ones- found out today. I feel stupid i give him my passwords for emails- face book and some others not this site or banks thou. Thou he could find those cuz i write them down due to forgetful. Any ways i told him i couldn't get into word doc on this new computer cuz it's askin for password he just replies why is it askin for the password. I just shut the damn thing down. I'm upset. See he told me long ago he use to use this girl's name he use to "hang out with" me naturally i think he uses her name in some form for passwords he doesn't want to be know. But why buy and say i can use a damn computer then. **** it. I'm already stressed and upset with other **** maybe i'm just over thinking. Now he'll be mad at me. And now i'm sorry for it all. Really. Feel bad and sad. Feel like hurting me for my stupidity- but i know logically it wont help a damn thing
***never mind my update is that i'm just being emotional. No one really sees things throu my eyes & yeah a stranger would see this as childish i bet. Sigh. I feel alone which is not unusual. Seems like here lately not allowed to be emotional. Like the other day i got agitated and that was not allowed even thou it was cuz i was gettin clawed @ when trying to figure out some thing. I just got agitated and said leave me alone! Yet That's still wrong. Don't get it. It's ok but not for me i guess. Just like not allowed to be sad & stuff i don't get it but whatever