I have a bit of all the disorders also. Usually, I despise men who do the things you do, but you are reaching out for help, so that means you're trying and actually WANT to change.

I can't seem to find one that really seems to care, but a therapist is what I suggest because there is definitely a problem and you don't want to continue this path of destruction.

I wish you and your girlfriend well. I don't even see how my boyfriend deals with me, I guess that might actually mean he cares, but I can't feel that. From anyone.

Anywho...I digress. I hope you can find a T that can help you.

Good luck!