Hey,

I haven't read all the pages in between the first post and here but I agree with everyone who says that our T are only human and I think a lot of us can forget that. A T is just someone who usually likes helping others and decided to train in a particular field in order to help others.It doesn't mean they have all the answers. Can you imagine if someone asked you right now for how they should fix things...would you feel you could give them the answer? Probably not and that is how it is for therapists too, they can really only help support us in moving ourselves forward.

T make mistakes, we all do. I think sometimes what happens is what a client wants and what they need or what at least is best of them in the long run can be very conflicting and so a T is in a loose, loose situation. For example I will use the way your T holds your hand....

She knows you want this and that it helps you in the moment at least but she also knows how it probably increases attachment and perhaps increases your distress when you are not with her. What you maybe need is someone who encourages more independance, however that will feel painful to you because its not what you want or what you at least feel you need.....so there are major conflicts there and a T has to try and balance things out. Like with the emails, she thought it would help you and it was what you wanted, so she tried to meet that want but realised that you felt more and more distressed at the reponses she gave so instead of continuing that, which was not going to be helpful, she decided to change things.......I guess you may see that as a mistake but you could also just see it as a realisation that there was a better way to try and help?

I know its hard but sometimes if we put ourselves in our T shoes and think about how they must feel about what we are saying it helps us look at things a bit more realistically.