Hey All,

I was seeing this guy, well for a very short time, a month really, it seemed perfect, way too perfect actually, and that scared me. I get super scared in relationships, I have past abuse as a child, I was the scapegoat.... had a very confusing childhood.

Anyway, one day I felt he told me a white lie which I still feel he did, but I jsut got really angry one day and yelled at him. After that he pulled away from me completely, I chased him for a week or so,r eally confused because he gave me mixed signals and then I sort of shifted between shouting at him and begging for him to tell me whats wrong. He never opened his mouth.

He needed to pick something of his from my place, even when he came to pick that up, He continued to tell me how much he loved me and he'd call me tonight and we'd talk about stuff... well, he never called, its been a month. I tried contacting him, he ignored me.

I gave up on him. But somewhere I feel really really guilty, like I screwed up or something. I tried really hard to talk to him, even apologized, but he's gone. That is really chewing me up.

Another major thing is that there was this girl who he knows, I was starting to get to know her as friends, and now I know for sure he's said something to her, because she also ignores my calls and has ignored my request on facebook. I was supposed to talk to her about a job at her company...

This really blows. I'm scared that whatever rumor this guy has spread to her will spread in the industry like plague.. I don't know what he's said to her but im 1000% sure he has said something negative (mostly something that isn't true because I really liked this girl as a person)...

What do I do? how do i stop feeling so crappy and worthless? I really feel like crap.

On one end i miss him terribly, on the other I feel so so so worthless... please help!

I also feel i suck at relationships, i have to many issues, like trust.. I never know if the guy means what he says..