no I have sought no help at all on anything, but its looking more and more like I am going to need to. I have always just been strong and dealt with things as they came at me, but I am unable to just shove it aside anymore. thank you for your reply and I am very sorry about your loss of one of your children I can certainly say your right about the pain. You just never know that pain untill you have stood over one of your childrens caskets. Its just incomparable to anything I ever imagined.