Ok Sept, I've read some of the posts and it all sounds oh so familiar... You sound so strong, and I hope that you are feeling that way too. It'll be 4 weeks on Thursday (I think) since hubby left- it goes so quickly- but I am still struggling with the empty feeling at nite when he is not here. I have the 2 girls in bed, but it's not the same. It's not another adult there. He took the cat, I have the dog but he's an outside only dog so no cuddles with him unless I go out to him, and we are coming into winter here so not such a great option. Well... in saying that I only smoke outside so I do get a fair bit of doggy cuddles! But that is all beside the point. I am enjoying getting the house as I want it. I have done this before- when my 1st was nearly 2 years old- and I was mentally stronger then but I still struggled. I know this time, especially if the past few weeks are anything to go by, is going to be a horrendous struggle but I will keep trying. If not, i risk losing my kids to the state... Keep strong, and make your home YOUR home; that really helps lol!