I never realized how difficult it would be to become attached to my T. I'm not talking about romantic feelings or anything like that. I've had a protective fortress around myself for so long. I've forgotten what it is like to be attached to a person.... to care what another person thinks.... to care how another person feels...to need things and want things from another person.

Most of my RL relationships do not have good boundaries. I've found that I cannot manipulate the theraputic relationship as I would in RL. Also, since starting therapy I've learned of a lot of the defense mechanisms that I would use. But it seems now that I've figured this out those defenses don't work anymore .

Now I'm left feeling open and so vulnerable... It has brought up some serious fears of abandonment...