Hello all,

I am sorry if this isn't in the right category, but I need to hear some success stories. My husband was diagnosed with Bi-Polar disorder 3 years ago. Very late in life (he was 34) depression hid most of his symptoms as he had been treated for depression for many many years before that.

He was hospitalized 3 years ago for one month, and has yet to be stable for any length of time. He's been on and off so many medications I am starting to worry what all the med changes are doing to him.

I miss him so much. I miss the laughter in our house, the spur of the moment trips, the closeness. It is so hard to walk on the eggshells all the time. Some days I don't even notice it, yet other days I just want to stomp around on the egg shells and smash them all.

My family and friends are surprised I am still with him, which I find very hurtful of them to say. I love him with all my heart. I never thought it would take this long. Its been so hard financially (I am the only one working), and it feels like there's no room for me - or I should say my feelings and my well being.

I don't know how to talk to him about this, as I don't want him to feel guilty or worse for not being stable, not working ect. I don't know when he's going to be well enough to work, I don't know when the laughter will be back, I don't know when anything will resemble some normalcy.

I would love to hear from someone who is on the other side of this table I'm at. What someone who has Bi-Polar has to say about all of this.

OH I should also maybe mention that I too suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder.