thanks for this thread. Could you all hold me in your prayers, thoughts? I don't think that I'm physically dependant on alcohol, since I can go without drinking without any withdrawal symptoms (apart from an occasionally bitter taste in my mouth the next day.) For example, i haven't had a drink since Friday.

the meds I'm on I shouldn't be drinking with, so i've decided to quit... thing is I've decided this in the past, and it didn't work out. I wouldn't drink for a few weeks or a couple of months, then I would drink again. The problem is, if I have one glass of wine I want to finish the bottle, and I'll sometimes escalate to two bottles a night five nights a week. (Then I get disgusted and stop.) I fear that if I carry on like this I will eventually become an alchoholic, someone who has to drink.

I have never really told anyone this before, I've been ashamed of it. I'm hoping that by "fessing up" on this forum it will lance the boil so to speak, so that shame won't trap me in an unhealthy pattern.

Please let me know what you think... for example, maybe I am really an alcoholic in denial. If that's what you think, don't hold back. I just want to develop good healthy habits again.