The thing is in the course of a long marriage many bad things happen. People hurt one another, forget to talk, forget to show they care. When this happens things break down. My mom and dad have been married for 38 years. My dad had an affair when I was 3 or 4. Things were messed up, he did something wrong. He has been faithful ever since. That would be 31 years now. I was unfaithful a couple of years ago, not in body but in mind. I hurt my husband very badly. But on the other hand it has lead to some major improvements in our relationship. I am ashamed of what I did but I understand why I did it. I was in a lot of pain at the time that he was not able to see. I turned to someone who was willing to see it. It makes me hurt all over to think about how much I hurt my husband.

What I am trying to say is that infidelity goes beyond just jumping into someone else's bed because your horny. It has to do with things that are missing in a relationship. Of course the better way to deal with problems is to get some help from a therapist but some of us aren't smart enough to see that right away.
Zen

<font color=blue>I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but, it comes from within. It is there all the time.--Anna Freud