I want to walk off the face of the earth. Daisy is so incredibly sad and she's clinging to my thoughts - she comes in and out and I feel her and her grief and confusion and her longing to just be loved . . . . . . it's overwhelming, but how could I turn her away? She's so little and so sad.

Then I'm beating myself up for not being more motivated and not getting things accomplished. It's been a rough day. I talked to T last night because I wasn't safe. Today is better, but, I fall into the pit and look around and wonder what it is I'm doing with my life. I feel so damned useless and not worth the trouble. T said "sorry to disappoint you, but you're not useless." It kind of made me laugh.

Oh boy, this is such a bad place that I am in.