<blockquote><font size=1>In reply to:</font><hr>

I know lots of women say they don't feel threatened when their husband look at porn, that it's normal for a man to do this, and men will also say it is normal and it means nothing, but I don't really buy that. I mean if a man is single and looks at porn, so what

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I hear this quite a bit, and it causes me quite a bit of concern. Porn can be, and often is, an addiction. Just because a man is single, does not make looking at it wise. In doing so, he is establishing a pattern of behavior that will almost certainly carry over into married life. There are several reasons that porn is destructive. 1st, it's a fantasy and an unrealistic fantasy at that. It is practically impossible to have an experience with a real person that even comes close to the fantasy experience. 2nd, When a man looks at porn for an extended period of time, he begins to look at women solely as a sexual object. Hence the turning of the head and the trance that a man goes into looking at some young thing. He is not wondering if she is a good person, if she has problems, hopes, dreams etc. You know what's on his mind. He may even say, "I'm just looking" "I would never actually do anything". But even if that is true, he often carries that attitude over to how he deals with his wife. Thus resulting in a great deal of frustration that she is not treating him like the women in the porn movies do to their partners. Worse, he may not have any real understanding of her hopes, dreams fears etc. After all, if everything is good sexually, what else matters right? pronounced sarcasm. All of this is very destructive to a relationship, as well as self concept of both the man and his wife. So, are you overreacting? IMHO No, there's a problem. Sorry for the long post.
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