Little ones are extremely sad and I'm in the pit and trying to manage too many things. I've got a major head ache - all day. Only had 4hrs sleep but took two naps today.

Talked to T last night and he asked how I was keeping myself safe. I am. But, it's a challenge sometimes. I'm okay. I'm always okay. Just sometimes, the pit is really dark and lonely and I keep beating myself up. I just want to hurt myself but I'm not allowed and I always do what I'm told - I can't get past that. I'm trying. Really I am. It's just hard right now. It stinks. I stink.