I hear you, Anna. Are you being treated for depression? I hear that you don't want your life to go on as it is, but I don't have a clue what that life is--what's your situation? Married? Working?

Let us get to know you, and you can get to know us, okay? We'll do our best to help you sort stuff out & make it better. There are lots of forums here, each with a different slant. Lots of good people. It's a good place to hang out.