I'm sorry things are going so badly right now with your boyfriend. That kind of bad behavior from someone you love can make a bad patch of depression even that much worse. Does he know how his acting out makes you feel? Is he supportive of you in your daily battle against this awful thing that sometimes just grabs us all around the throat? It sounds like he's being really selfish to me. You deserve better treatment than that. If you can, just hang in there and do whatever things you know that will help you, like: posting here, writing in a journal, drinking hot chocolate in front of a fire, a long hot soak in the tub, anything "girly". Make yourself do something for you even if you don't feel like it. Generally, that's what helps with me. Hang tough. "This, too, shall pass,"

"Keep walking past the open windows."