And cats are harder than dogs. I just put "rules for the cat" in my "stuff" photo album.

He doesn't want to go to church. I don't know of any appropriate support groups. He's not interested in the classes offered through parks and rec or the art center.

My son is way more social than I am. I've taken that Myer-Briggs personality test a number of times, and every time I end up on the extreme end of introverted. My son took it recently - to humor me - and he ended up as an extrovert. He's not out at the extreme end, but he's clearly in the extrovert range. He likes people and he wants to be around them.

The problem is he's so very, very sensitive that he comes away from every interaction with little wounds that he then picks at. He'll sit and ruminate for hours about tiny, tiny things that someone said or did to him years ago. I think the solution to this is not to isolate, but to work on building the skills to be around people without being wounded.

He's going to find a way to be with people. He finds not so good people to hang with and it leads in bad directions. I think he ends up with these people, because he's so desperate for companionship, but he doesn't have the self-esteem to seek out better people.

So I'm talking to him about self-esteem, about being himself, about not taking things too personally. I'd rather see him practice and fail a bit than to play it too safe.

Last night he was texting back and forth with some girl he met on a dating site. She was asking him about his education, his job, his living situation. I could tell he wanted to lie to her, to make himself more "acceptable" in what he imagined she would think of him. The truth is he's not that much into education, he doesn't have a job, and he lives with his mother. I advised him to tell her the truth. If she doesn't like him the way he is, she doesn't like him. So, when he told her he lives with his mom, she said, "Cool! You're saving money."

My son is a kind soul who doesn't like himself the way he is. He wants to be tough and important. He wants to be smart and sexy and impress people. He doesn't seem to understand that the qualities he already has are so much rarer and more valuable. If he could just be himself, he could find friends and a wife who would cherish him for the fine qualities he possesses. It frustrates me that he'd rather trade in his gentle heart for bulging biceps and a rock hard six pack.

Sorry I guess I got off track there.