That right there is a great reason to work with a T rather than on your own. If you work on your own, you're just reinforcing the belief that you're too much for them, they can't help you, etc. If you work with a T, you can learn that just existing is not going to negatively impact the T, that you're not too much for them, etc. I think that since your fears revolve around relationships with others, establishing a working relationship with a T might be very beneficial. It would be a safe place to practice the dynamics of interpersonal relationships and get genuine feedback.