Hi Zoe,
I think you have been very brave and strong to share your feelings with us. That is a part of you that the depression didn't get to.
I hope you know deep down that the depression is not our friend. It is just an illness and it makes us think things that are not true. By sharing with others who know about the illness we can fight it and get well again.
The job we have to do, is to stop listening to our depression. Mine tells me that I am a bad person, and no matter how kind and thoughtful I am to others, it still tells me that. The only way out, for me, is to stop listening to it altogether.
Like everyone else, I just want to be happy, I don't need to be perfect! I'm sure that you are nice looking, just as everyone says, and more important - you deserve some happiness.
Stay with us, Zoe, and I'm sure it'll help. We have all ages and backgrounds of people here and what we have in common is that we want to beat our illnesses and have some good times.
Nice to meet you,
M