Thanks. At the moment I am feeling kind of mellow--maybe numb--about all of this. I know I'm obviously stressing some about it, but I'm hoping or liking to think that maybe the fact that I am stressing about it might be a sign that it could be ending. It's causing a conflict in my mind, which is good. Or at least this particular crisis might be ending. I don't want to call anyone now. I'm doing okay for the moment. Who knows about later. I had a good moment earlier today, too--only to have things turn again. But, I can still at least have hope for now and if things take a big turn again, then I might reconsider calling again. I still don't know how to openly admit to my T about everything from this weekend. That will be very hard. Some parts might even be painful to admit. He knows about me having bad eating habits, but he does NOT know about anything else that I do on a regular or semi-regular basis, or occasional, or rare thoughts I've had a few times. I acted on and tried something this weekend (unsuccessfully, I might add), and at the time it actually felt okay! How does something like this happen? How and why do our minds play tricks on us like this? I'm too mellow or numb, whatever this feeling really is, to do anything right now but to think about what am I doing.