I'm sorry you are feeling like you are alone and have no one to talk to, Sephoxan. 'im unsure of what resources you have available to you, but I would third talking to a therapist or counselor, if you can, especially if you're concerned about the thoughts you're having. You can get a referral from your family doc, if you're unsure of who to contact.

I'm not sure where you are located, in the states there are a number of crisis lines you can contact, they can provide resources as well as a someone to talk to in a crisis.

Do either of those suggestions sound good to you?