freespirit46, first of all really sorry you are having such a hard time.
wish you dad understood more about what you go thru.

Yes I have had my hands shake, get all sweaty, couldn't hold anything. also my body has shaken so bad before I couldn't move, couldn't think straight, outrageous thoughts about flying across the country to go to obscure places by myself, my poor husband...

You are not alone my dear.