I am having terrible flashbacks and panic attacks. Fall is always bad time for me, and Nov 11th is worst day. It is ironic, on Rembrance Day, I remember yet, but not soldiers, I remember another battle, a battle I lost, a battle where part of me died and ex-boyfriend took part of my soul.

So I called doctor today, left message. I can barely remember what I said. She called me back right away, but she has no appts until next week. I tried calling a few friends but then feel guilty bothering them with this. So I am writing here instead.

Like I said am having flashbacks. Thank God it isn't raining today, I think that would have pushed me over the edge.

This year has been worse then others. There is alot more detail that I am remembering.

I hope this post makes some sense. PTSD just wears me out sometimes.