Well as you may know, i've not been having a very stable time recently.
Well i had my 6 monthly, CPA (care-plan assessment) meeting with a pdoc, it was the first time we'd met.
He was looking at my notes from about a year and a half ago, he didnt know anything that was going on now.
When my support worker who was with me mentioned DBT and personality disorder, he just looked confused as to why anyone would think that from my notes. I was so annoyed, that he seemed to be asking questions totally irrelevant, there was also a student nurse there so i was fairly anxious, i didnt want to speak to him.
Anyway, he said this "i dont feel a bipolar diagnosis fits, nor personality disorder."
I've gone off my meds and trying to get in touch with myself so i can try and work out what is actually the problem.
My therapist, thinks i'm definitely Borderline, she is someone i have shared my every thought with.
my old Pdoc, old nurse and old support worker, think i'm bipolar, they have seen me over the course of a whole year.
My new support worker, who knows me well for the sort of person i am now doesnt feel a specific diagnosis is right for me, she thinks we should just deal with symptoms as they come up.
Also my new pdoc totally dismissed the voices and psychotic experiences, which i'm not really happy about, because they are really distressing.

I feel like i have quite a bit of insight to myself, so i might just work it out myself and go and tell them exactly whats wrong with me!!!

But i have an actual bipolar dx so i dunno why he thinks after reading notes a year old and talking to a very closed and anxious me, he knows the situation well enough to say i'm not bipolar.

I'm so stressed out right now, i start a new full time job on the 28th of November, my heads in a really bad place and i'm lonely.