Welcome to PC. It's a good place. The people here are wonderful. We're glad to have you here.

I agree with Gashly. Definitely not a loser.

Even without the depression it sounds like you've been through a lot. Losing a parent to cancer, violence at home, struggling to get out of a bad marriage. Any one of those things alone would have an effect. And lumped all together, with depression as well, you're fighting through a lot. It doesn't make you weak because you're stumbling and falling. It makes you strong because you keep picking yourself back up.

And if anyone doesn't take you seriously, just remember that it's their problem, not yours. If someone who's supposed to be helping (a doctor, T, etc) isn't taking you seriously, drop them and find another.

If counseling and medication aren't helping you, perhaps you could try a different medication? Or maybe a T, or a different counselor?

You seem like a wonderful person. I hope things turn up for you. Hang in there.