. the PTSD is awful. i am barely holding myself together. despite my best attempts, things keep going wrong. i don't know what to do.

Me too, I feel very alone with this, I hear you, I know what your saying. This is exactly what I am going through, dispite my attempts to fix, things have just kept going wrong. I am honestly trying too. I don't have an answer right now, to this, only that something I am doing is allowing the bad to come in and effect me. I know it has to do with the thinking patterns of PTSD. Unhappyguy, we are not failures, but we really struggle and feel like failures. There is something we are missing, some kind of guide for strength that we haven't found yet or it hasn't sunk in or something. All I know is I am not there yet.

I am so sorry that your alone, but I can tell you that you can be just as alone even with family, and sometimes its even harder. So at least you have space. All relationships are hard, so please don't think that it is all you. And as far as the job goes, the economy is hard on everyone right now.

Do you have anything you would like to take up and learn? My experience with men that are gay is that they are very sensitive and very creative people. And creative people really flourish if they are allowed to be in that world where they can create.

Oh, you were a paralegal, well that is a tough world because these attorneys are under so much pressure and I am sure you had to deal with a lot of gruff and bad moods. But do you still like that work?

Here I am with PTSD and lawyer issues. And you have PTSD and kinda have job issues that have issues with Lawyers. I have been trying to figure out how to figure out where my attorney is messing up and how I deal with it and find out under the wire kind of. There must be other people like me, I have been trying to get to that and I have other stuff thrown at me. Maybe you should develope some kind of business where you could maybe help people like me. Because I am sure that you are a sensitive person and I will bet you would do well with helping people like me that have issues and dont really know what to do, how to do something without causing further harm.

Maybe you need to use that sensitive side of you in a way that can better connect with people who deal with these lawyers that to me seem pretty cold and very assuming. I just find myself that I have always done better being my own boss. I have a feeling that if you were in the right kind of situation that feed you some positive input and let you shine in a way you haven't figured out yet, you might just look at yourself very differently. Before my business was so damaged, that really was my ground, and I didn't truely realize how much that did for me. Maybe you need to think about that, I think that maybe your stuck with the control of others, and your thinking is bad because you never really got to take the wheel for yourself. I got to do that, it made a difference in me. The bad part for me is that was so badly damaged and I haven't been able to really recover. But when I do get to do a job, I do feel better once I am doing it, even though it has been so damaged that as much as I try I still have more bills from that damage than I can keep up with.

Just a thought.

Open Eyes