Sorry to hear things aren't well with you...it is so hard when you are trying to do your best, and your employer does everything they can to help, but you still feel yourself sliding down. I can truly sympathize with you. If you can be admitted to a hospital without being suicidal it might not be a bad idea...I notice that you are not taking one of the "proven" mood stabilizers...I got no relief from depression until I started taking lithium a few months ago. Now I take lithium and Lamictal but no SSRI's. My mood is better and much more stable than it has been in years.

I hope you get some relief soon, I know the hell you are going through

Hugs,
DJ