This was me for the past 2 weeks. My t went on vacation for a week and I completely could relate to you when you said,
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I barely remember she exists. Isn't that fantastic? In fact, I see no reason to continue seeing her when she returns. I can't even remember why I'm in therapy.
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But I went back yesterday and didn't even think about the session beforehand like i usually do. Normally I agonize over what will happen and what happened last time, etc. I overthink the entire thing and this time I was kind of "la dee da, off to therapy I go!" about it. I really, truly, honestly couldn't remember WHY I ever started going there to begin with!!
It was awesome.
Until I got there. I felt the rush of feelings come back....like a delayed reaction, it occurred to me how much his absence affected me.
And today, I'm a mess. Can't get him or therapy out of my head. Back to square one...