Quote:
Originally Posted by WikidPissah
I hate my T tonight. It's been a year with him and I'm not getting better. We talk about nothing, even though I've presented him with a million issues. I am in there 2x a week for nothing. I hate every T I ever had. I don't usually get hateful, but tonight I am so damn frustrated. And tired, did I mention tired. I am not learning any freaking skills we haven't worked on ****. I know it's all my fault but right now I just hate him. I want to text him and tell him that, but I won't...that's not something that I am capable of. I can dream though...right? Maybe I will write a scathing email and then delete it. I hate myself, I can't be this way for another 40 years.
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Hate T. Tired. No progress. No hope. Yes, I've felt like that that. The only difference is that I decided it was T's fault, not mine!
My T is dismissive of skills (that's how it looks to me). She seems to think that once the feelings are out, the skills will come by themselves. (Maybe that isn't so stupid after all...)
But if you are determined to focus on skills, there might be a style of therapy that suits you better.
Hatred. Here's how it worked for me: I attached to T, dumped my hate on her and now it's gone. It took seven years for me to say, "I do not hate you any more," but I probably had more than the usual dose of hate. She said something about me probably hating her again from time to time.
T's expect to be hated. They know it's not forever.
What do T's do with all the hatred they get? I suppose they compact it and dump it on their supervisors.