Ok...I wasn't going to write about my session-but I can't sleep and I dont have someone to talk to...if you've read any of my posts you know I both adore and hate my T sometimes...and the emails/scheduling/saying I'm going to quit has been an issue...well last week we had an amazing session-I felt like there was absolute support from him...I felt like some healing happened-and I left feeling great! Then He said he couldn't meet this week...it got me upset...but i just wrote back "oh okay : (
Then I had a very bad day and called him-he was so nice and called back...calmed me and also said he had a cancellation for thur-so I took it...
So then today was horrible...I felt like he was tired, long day, hadn't eaten dinner, and just was not present with me...then we started talking about his frustration over my emails...how things are muscommunicated, and how some of the things I have said he gets frustrated with...he says he doesn't respond to those types of things because he knows it's the immature part of me and also because havoc busy...he said it doesn't change the way he feels about me...but i don't know he seemed edgy tonight and was a smartass at some point, and we got into a weird discussion at the end he said "we are out of time" he never does that...he says it was nice to see you and we hug...so he asked how I wanted to end I said I didn't care...after going back and fourth I left without hugs...I'm beyond upset...therapy shouldn't be this consuming and stressful, I feel worse now than I did 5 months ago...I need someone who can give me a set time, and whose only job is to that, not a second evening job where they are tired...and who does not email...or be so casual...I'm heartbroken really....in despair : (
I don't know what to do...help?!