Wow, this is exactly how I've been feeling. Going from being the "rock" for everyone around you to feeling like there is no solid foundation under you has been VERY difficult. I have had the bad experiences of people I thought I could trust placing distance when they found out I was broken. But on the flip side, I have had the loved ones that are probably the reasons I decided to get help. I guess it's finding a way to tell yourself that it's okay to not be the one that's okay. Which is super scary, I know!