Quote:
Originally Posted by SoupDragon
Sounds like you have been used to hiding your feelings under a dust cover somewhere and instead focused on supporting others. I am thinking it must therefore feel very different to be aware of your feelings and for me I know I would be scared of how I might react and what others may think of this "new" me who does show emotion. You have to adjust to the change in you, but so do those around us.
I am beginning to realise that more than anything, showing emotions, shows that we feel, that we care - I am not there yet, but maybe it is a good thing to feel that stuff and be emotional? I can completely get wanting T to be around though - it is through the hard work with them that we have felt brave enough to feel.
Sending hugs to you - it sounds like a really important visit you are about to have. Take care - Soup
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It's true about hiding feelings. My mother was stoic and I guess I grew up to be stoic. Neither my H nor my mother really supported expression of emotions. So, I learned to repress them. I had an amazing discovery during therapy. While stuffing the negative emotions like fear, anger, etc., I also inhibited my ability to feel the positive emotions. So, when people would ask me, "you don't look happy." at a happy event I would protest, "yes yes, I'm happy." And I thought I was but it was more intellectual than emotional happiness.
So, now that I've tapped into that reservoir of what makes us human, I'm faced with how to 'feel' enough but at the same time not to get overwhelmed.
Oh - there are some advantages to being in control of emotions. During earthquakes when my H would jump out the window 'saving' himself, I would be cool and calm and collected and make sure I got the kids and got them safe.